Free, as we all know, doesn’t necessarily mean good. Thankfully, the characters in 1974’s Death Cruise are well clothed and coiffed – this is an Aaron Spelling production, after all – when a seemingly carefree gift begins to interfere with their mortality.
Obviously inspired by Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None, this exercise in glossy horror finds 3 embattled couples fighting for their lives on an ocean liner. The recipients of a complimentary vacation, the sextet is all seemingly linked via a random series of previous trips and work circumstances. During fragrant dinners and alcohol-fueled poolside chats, no one can quite figure out the direction connection, though – a sure hindrance when they begin to be thrown overboard, pushed down rickety stairs and shot at.
Entertainingly. Jack B. Sowards’ script encourages soap operatic airs to swirl around these characters. Much to middle-aged David’s (Tom Bosley) regret, the dissatisfied Elizabeth (Celeste Holm) can’t let go of her grown children. The sarcastic Sylvia (Polly Bergen), meanwhile, is hard pressed to forgive her spouse Jerry’s (Richard Long) frequent, very public philandering. Young bride Mary Frances (Kate Jackson), lastly, would just like a child from the carefree, self-indulgent James (Edward Albert). Unsurprisingly, as Sowards’ diabolical plot twists unfurl, these issues take a backseat to staying alive.
Nicely, brisk direction by Ralph Senensky compliments the mysterious set-up here and he, wisely, gets out of the way of his highly professional cast, letting them do what they do best. To that end, Holm commits to a magnificently drunken takedown of Bosley’s David, a man who spent years attending to business dealings and ignoring his spouse. Bergen also shines as her character, very fashion forwardly, tries to outrace death.
Moving along quicker than the clipped enunciation that Jackson often gives to her troubled anti-heroine’s dialogue, Death Cruise is currently streaming, without cost, on YouTube. A boon, of sorts, for those who are unafraid of the price they might have to ultimately pay for such an economical viewing fee.
Until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!
Big Gay Horror Fan 