“At Ms. Swales’ School for Girls we always strive for perfection!”

She’s one of the world’s most politically aware celebrities, tweeting about foreign policy and war torn environments with frequency and skill. Therefore, it’s totally natural that the exquisite Morgan Fairchild has brought this quality of leadership into many of her performances. Often conniving and frequently dangerous, Fairchild’s femmes have, commonly, seemed like presidential material and, as we dive deeper into a contentious election period anchored by the first female nominee, it seems only proper to highlight a couple of this blonde beauty’s most powerful roles.

In fact, in the late era slasher Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge, Ms. Fairchild emphasized her governmental worthiness by playing the ambitious major of a struggling town. Doing everything in her power to provide revenue to the citizens, her Karen Wilton is guided by one of the actress’ true strengths, a strong yet sympathetic edge. Yet, it is discovered that all ruses are red when it is eventually revealed that Wilton was behind the fiery destruction that led to the main character’s disfiguration and murderous rampage. Thus, she must pay, as all villainesses do.

Often knocked on as a pale Phantom of the Opera imitation, POTM gains significant leverage by featuring a number of genre regulars including Derek Rydall (Popcorn), Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead), Tom Fridley (Friday the 13^th, Part 6) and Scream Queen Brinke Stevens. But even with glass spikes sticking through her abdomen, Fairchild is the main attraction here, providing one of modern fright films’ truly emotionally monstrous women.

Her Camella Swales in the 1994 science fiction-comedy Virgin Hunters (AKA Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000) is even more ambitious, though. This strict piece in a very tight skirt has gained universal power by convincing the government to outlaw sex and it is up to a couple of handsome, time traveling test tube collegiate types to stop her before she destroys the future of America.

Featuring elemental strands from projects as wide ranging as The Terminator to Some Like It Hot, Fairchild adds subtle intonations and unexpected growls to her stereotypical yet fun dialogue here. Naturally, her no nonsense warden is eventually softened by a man’s gaze, an insulting but expected result in a T and A farce, and America’s future is soon assured. Still, Fairchild has as much fun as she can with the proceedings, once again maintaining the project’s enjoyably silly focus.

Fairchild, who also gains glitter points for her AIDS activism and for her portrayal of Sandra Bernhard’s girlfriend on Roseanne, can be followed at  www.twitter.com/morgfair and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Morgan-Fairchild/109450415739787.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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