On a daily basis, I can fall down endless media based rabbit holes. One article or show can send me on an all consuming spiral, but thankfully, the landing is usually sweet. Sometimes, it can even make me quite contemplative. 

A cursory examination of The Video Dead, an ’80s horror cheese fest, this past Sunday led me to reappreciate the stunning Jennifer Miro, a pioneer artist in the LA punk scene, who appears, briefly yet magnificently, in that film. The porcelain skinned Miro was the frontwoman for the many incarnations of The Nuns, a goth-punk outfit with notable achievements and a large fan base, who never quite crossed over into the mainstream. 

But Miro, who also doubled as a successful fetish model, probably never would have accepted the stereotypical molds that the major labels would have wanted her to exploit. She truly seemed at home in the world of indie exploitation, also appearing in projects like Nightmare in Blood, Dr. Caligari and Jungle Assault, and her live performances, particularly in her band’s final form, were reportedly highly sexualized affairs. 

Even in her death, she navigated a different course. Battling liver and breast cancer for years, she kept her diagnosis a private thing and rejected traditional therapy methods. Relying on the assistance of a kind next door neighbor, Miro faded away, at the age of 54, in December 2011. According to her obituary notices, it would be a month or so before her former colleagues and friends were even aware that she was gone. Thus, those final years seemed to be an exercise in independence – a closing performance for an audience of one.

Hence, my mindful state. As a single gay man in my fifties, dying while walking a solitary path is one of my biggest fears. But, perhaps, Miro found a grace in distancing herself and dealing with her illness without the emotional distractions of others. There might even be a sort of purity in that…a grace there that I can latch onto as I navigate my remaining years, presumably alone. 

Until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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