Film

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Bad CGI Fridays: 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007)

Published July 18, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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If television action mainstay Lorenzo Lamas has made a boring film (and, naturally, I’m not saying he has) – then 2007’s 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea would certainly qualify for that honor.

30000 posterFeaturing lots of footage of Lamas and the actors playing his crew wandering around the floors of the ocean depths (and not much else), 30,000 does feature a couple of sequences involving a very unnatural looking squid.30000 2

In fact, the squid’s second appearance is almost laughable – coming off as almost a mechanical style comic book design.

Oh, well. Where’s Stan Lee when you need him?

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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G-FEST 2014: Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion

Published July 17, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

gamera poster
A recent showing of Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion (1996) at G-FEST 2014 in Rosemont, IL proved that while Americanized dubbing may occasionally miss the mark, it can often produce truly hilarious results. (Especially, if like me, your sense of humor hasn’t regressed much beyond the 5th grade!)

This tale of everyone’s favorite avenging turtle facing down sprawling tentacle creatures, that just happen to be waging mass destruction for a huge alien invader, featured such comical readings as:

“The second it flowered, we were completely helpless!”

“We cannot afford another Sendai!”

“He’s going straight for the Big One!”gamera watching

“Gamera is alive. He will come back for us. Gamera will not let the Legion win!”

“I don’t have time to argue with you! Give me every ounce of your power!”

“The Big One is right on top of us”

gamera“The Big One has something new up its sleeve!”

“It’s the Big One! He made it past the last barricade!”

Still hurting from that last one… and with hopes that you brought your own double entendres (because mine are all used up), Big Gay Horror Fan!

Still giddy from Gamera!

Still giddy from Gamera!


PS: G-FEST is held every July in Rosemont, IL. For more information, take a look at http://www.gfan.com.

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The Backside of Horror: Taylor Lacher, “Devil Times Five” (1974)

Published July 15, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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Let’s face it, half the fun of horror and exploitation is seeing some hot bodies frolicking around in the buff. And while I worship the female form, I believe exploitation definitely veers into the exploitive when only gorgeous women are on display while their male counterparts remain chastely buttoned up. Therefore, The Backside of Horror salutes the filmmakers and actors whom even up the score a bit by showing us instances of hot and juicy male flesh in their bloody celluloid fantasies.

geneSome guys don’t get a break. Even though beefy Rick (played by 70s television perennial Taylor Lacher) turns down the advances of the saucy Lovely (Carolyn Stellar) in the twisted 70s drive-in feature Devil Times Five, he still gets whacked by a group of sadistic children.

Maybe that’s because he does give us a view of his meaty man-globes – another terror film no-no!gene half butt

In an interesting side-note, Stellar is the mother of (future teen idol) Leif Garrett and (My Three Son‘s cutie) Dawn Lyn who play two of the unrepentant tots who eviscerate a house full of whining, drinking, back-stabbing adults in this truly trashy, semi-classic.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Dys- Spreads!

Published July 12, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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A crazy rash of mosquito bites has me feeling itchy all over – and pretty sure something unworldly is attacking my body. I’ve tried to shrug it off, but the potent new trailer for Maude Michaud’s upcoming Dys- has me wondering if I might have reason to fear.

A story of what happens when an estranged couple enters lockdown to escape a mysterious virus, Dys- is getting a lot of important buzz and is now entering the festival circuit. With appearances by genre regulars like Lynn Lowry and Shannon Lark, this infectious thriller is sure to spread like wildfire!

You can check out the official trailer at:

You can keep updated on the film’s progress at https://www.facebook.com/homeiswherethehurtis, as well.

Until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Bad CGI Friday’s: Super Eruption (2011)

Published July 11, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

super-eruption
To quote an old Saturday Night Live Skit: “With a name like Super Eruption, it has to be good jam!”

Fake lava still bad lava!

Fake lava still bad lava!

Actually, with a name like Super Eruption it has to be a cheesy SyFy flick about a hunky park ranger (Richard Burgi) and a sexy scientist (Juliet Aubrey) fighting to save lives as a dormant volcano under Yellowstone National Park fatally explodes.

Besides lots of computer generated lava and ash, this exploding-ly awesome epic even features what looks like a doll stand-in for Burgi as he parachutes down into a smoldering site.

Is that a doll or are you...

Is that a doll or are you…

Even better, perhaps, may be the weird time travel subplot that definitely gives this quick and painless effort a fiery sense of odd originality.

For the truly sophisticated, though? Maybe not! Oh, well…

"The future's so bright..." Not!

“The future’s so bright…” Not!

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Terror in the Aisles Presents Short Cuts!

Published July 11, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

David Schmidt's Screams on Planet Zero!

David Schmidt’s Screams on Planet Zero!


Want better news than Yvette Mimieux and Bo Svenson reuniting for a Snowbeast sequel?!? (Which, unfortunately, isn’t happening, BTW!)

Well, how about Terror in the Aisles highlighting a bunch of awesome horror shorts from a bevy of truly talented Midwestern terror filmmakers? Sound good? Then look no further than Terror in the Aisles Presents Short Cuts on this Saturday evening, 7/12/2014, at the historic Davis Theater in Chicago. Featuring a wide variety of scary science fiction, trippy fright comedy and previews of upcoming projects (along with appearances from the talent involved), this is an event not to be missed.

..and yours truly, Big Gay Horror Fan, will be hosting this super cool, totally original, once in a lifetime event! So, get out your vinyl space suits and check out https://www.facebook.com/events/652996118088201/ for more information!

Until we meet, face to face, SWEET love and pink GRUE! – Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Spring Byington: Scarier Than A Werewolf?

Published July 9, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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In the 1930s, Spring Byington (1886-1971) arrived on the screen (at the age of 44) to find herself, immediately, cast as dowager aunts and kindly mothers. This was a format she played, with much success, throughout the entirety of her cinematic career. Occasionally, though, she was able to show her range with an oddly antagonistic role or two.

One hairy shadow!

One hairy shadow!

Portraying a character both daffy and prone to hysteria, she brought a flighty grace to her Miss Ettie Coombes in the classic 1935 Universal monster flick Werewolf of London. But Byington, also, adds a bit of flinty menace to her characterization, as well. With calculating will, Byington/Coombes tries to drive her beloved niece (played by Bride of Frankenstein’s Valerie Hobson) away from her scientist husband (Henry Hull) by reintroducing her to a childhood beau (Lester Matthews). Of course, once Hull’s Dr. Glendon turns into a werewolf, this earns her his eternal wraith.

Seventeen years later in 1952’s No Room for the Groom, another Universal picture, Byington, also, helps turn a cute programmer into something more sinister. As Mama Kingshead, Byington radiates with malevolent purpose. Hiding behind a seemingly innocent exterior, Byington/Kingshead tries to destroy her sweet daughter’s chances with the man of her dreams. Taking over his household, she even is willing to have him declared insane to get her way. Haunted by the specter of The House Committee on Un-American Activities (with Byington even accusing Tony Curtis’ young husband of Communist leanings), this Douglas Sirk outing doesn’t have the luxurious energy of his later works. But Byington’s sweetly evil characterization (contrasting nicely with Piper Laurie’s defensive innocence) helps make this much more than just a silly romantic romp.

Dead Faint! Byington with Laurie.

Dead Faint! Byington with Laurie.

On an interesting side note, despite a marriage and children, there are reports (including books such as David Tucker’s The Women Who Made Television Funny) that lay claim to the fact that Byington was one of Hollywood’s well known lesbians. There are even rumors of a long term affair with (fellow character actress) Marjorie Main. If true, this would make 1949 MGM musical In The Good Old Summertime one of the gayest ever. Featuring Byington as the loving companion of a music shop owner, Summertime also stars queer icon Judy Garland along with Van Johnson as her romantic counterpart. Johnson, known in plenty of circles as a closeted gay man, would go onto appear in such Euro exploitation terror flicks as Scorpion With Two Tails (1982) and Killer Crocodile (1989) making him an interesting figure to queer horror lovers, as well.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Music to Make Horror Movies By: Umberto

Published July 6, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

umberto prophecy
Whenever I am being chased by that miniature (yet totally vicious) monkey with a razor blade knife, I always throw on some Umberto to truly get me in the right frame of mind!

Matt Hill

Matt Hill

The brain child of (totally cool) musician Matt Hill, formerly of Expo 70, Umberto embraces the sound waves of Goblin and John Carpenter film scores while adding distinctive dance embracive edges, as well.

To further dine on Umberto’s spooky vernacular, be sure to check out https://www.facebook.com/pages/UMBERTO and http://umberto.bandcamp.com/, too!

Until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Bad CGI Friday’s: Ghostquake (2012)

Published July 4, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

ghostquake cover
Whether it has been in prisons, on zombie filled islands or while visiting Desperate Housewives, Danny Trejo has encountered a lot, cinematically. But, I don’t know if any of that could have possibly prepared him for the dangers of 2012’s Ghostquakee (AKA Haunted High), though!

gq1As a janitor fighting against a reanimated satanic warlock, Trejo faces down spooky computer generated phantasma-rings, bolts of hot-fake supernatural lightening and even, eventually, gets it on in a ghost-to-ghost battle!gq2

Featuring deaths by toilet, auditorium bleachers, French horn, library floor and wildly spinning tile, Ghostquake is actually a pleasant enough timewaster – even for those who never want to cross paths with a rambling school bus ever again!
gq3
Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

The Backside of Horror: J. Adam Brown, “Joyride 3: Road Kill”

Published July 2, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

joyride poster
Let’s face it, half the fun of horror and exploitation is seeing some hot bodies frolicking around in the buff. And while I worship the female form, I believe exploitation definitely veers into the exploitive when only gorgeous women are on display while their male counterparts remain chastely buttoned up. Therefore, The Backside of Horror salutes the filmmakers and actors whom even up the score a bit by showing us instances of hot and juicy male flesh in their bloody celluloid fantasies.

jr3 talkWarning! Apparently, it is no longer just premarital sex and flagrant drug use that can get you viciously slashed in a horror film – attempted robbery is now, also, a no-no!jr3

In the recently released Joy Ride 3: Road Kill meth addicts Candy (Sara Mitich) and Rob (J. Adam Brown) try to pull a heist on the revenge filled Rusty Nail (now embodied by Freddy Vs Jason’s Ken Kirzinger). But, of course, things do not end well for them.

jr3 buttFortunately for inspired viewers, this less-than-dynamic duo are able to enjoy a spastic romp just before Mr. Nail comes barging through the door. And – while most directors would have concentrated, solely, on the Mitich’s much available flesh, here, the divine Declan O’Brien, also, gives us a gander at everything Brown has to offer, as well.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan