Review: Housesitters

Published February 10, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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I’m a little jealous. In my stints as a house and dog sitter I found some weird things – homemade porn, leopard print sheets scented with perfume. I even got shown around one apartment by an owner who made no effort to hide his early morning boner. But, I never sat at a place with a creepy pentagram strewn basement and its own personal demon!

Best friends and eternal wisecrackers Angie (Annie Watkins) and Izzy (Jamie Jirak) hit the jackpot in director-writer Jason Coffman’s truly fun horror-comedy Housesitters, though.  Left a credit card and enough 80s/90s fashions in one closet for an effective musical montage, all they need is a couple of hot, trouble making  dudes to make their first house sitting adventure a total success. That’s where Greg (James Timothy Peters), a pizza delivery guy, and Zach (Peter Ash), Izzy’s boyfriend, come in.  Zach, in a nonverbal apology for eating all of Angie’s brownies, also brings along her current crush, Mark (Ben Schlotfelt).

But soon Greg and Mark are attacked by a miniature green creature and disappear. The appearance of Zach’s friend Dan (Jay J. Bidwell) singles more mayhem. Unable to leave the house due to their benefactor’s devilish dealings, the group venture to the basement to try to resolve their problems. The wounded Dan, though, emerges as something a bit more demonic and life between the bosom companions will never be the same again.

Smartly utilizing one location, haunted by Dustin Wayde Mills’ ravenously adorable monster-puppet, Coffman wisely builds the relationships between his main characters here. In fact, Watkins and Jirak are so natural and spontaneously goofy that they become the highlight of this tight yet carefree production. As the closing credits roll, it is obvious that they were allowed to riff on and improvise a large part of their material, making “Broad City Meets Monster Movie” a hoped for trend in the near future.

The duo’s male co-stars, Ash, Schlotfelt, Peters and Bidwell, also key into their low-key, naturalistic vibe. They all deliver believable and slightly ironic performances, surely a product of their seeming theatrical groundedness. Their skill, coupled with the surprising twists that Coffman provides for their characters in the film’s final moments, ultimately make Housesitters a truly entertaining celluloid outing. That it is also one filled with femme powered horror amusements is probably its greatest strength and joy. Let’s hope this really is a trend!

Note: This review was done on a work-in-progress version of the movie as it gears up for festival submissions. To be sure to join Angie and Izzy as they party their way to different events, follow https://www.facebook.com/HousesittersMovie/.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Music to Make Horror Movies By: Nancy Sinatra

Published February 5, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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She defined an entire generation with a giddy sneer, a charming pout, some (fine, fine) tunes and…those (almost living, breathing) boots!

The superlative Nancy Sinatra also gave it her all in a number of teen comedies and genre films including Get Yourself a College Girl and The Wild Angels. Nicely, 1966’s fun The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini featured a number of silly supernatural happenings and appearances from such horror stalwarts as Boris Karloff and Basil Rathbone.

Looking frisky and fabulous, Nancy also contributed Geronimo, a fun tune for that project, as well.

Currently, the passionate Sinatra is always creating a happening at https://www.facebook.com/NancySinatra and www.nancysinatra.com.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Review: Blessed Are the Children

Published February 2, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

blessed-are-posterWillow, the adorable toddler in the apartment across from me, always seems to be in front of my door when I’m making a quick exit for work or the grocery store. She, breathlessly, will tell me about her adventures at her babysitter’s house or how her cat, always misbehaving, has stepped on her feet again. I’ll cluck, encouragingly or sympathetically (whatever the case may call for), and hurry on my way. If that is stalking, I’ll take it.

Traci, a woman breaking away from a violent relationship, in director-writer Chris Moore’s emotional Blessed Are the Children, though, finds herself, unfortunately, fixated upon by some violent, mask wearing strangers after her visit to a women’s clinic. These mysterious villains are soon obliterating the men in her life and are also putting Traci and her roommates, Mandy and Erin, in harm’s way, as well. Could these figures be tied in with Traci’s disapproving mother or is there something much more malevolent at work here?

Whatever the answers, Moore is to be highly commended for taking a series of social issues and placing them, firmly, in the context of the traditional slasher film. He delves into all the reasons that Traci (a finely modulated Kaley Ball) decides an abortion is the right decision for her and, with the effervescent help of actress Keni Bounds, he creates one of the strongest lesbian characters to ever benefit a genre film with Mandy. Fun, mothering and complex, she is the standout personality here.blessed-are-mandy

Granted, it’s a fine line to walk in a film wallowing in violence and retribution. There is always the chance that certain viewers will assume that Moore is suggesting that Traci and Mandy deserve any bad tidings that come their way. But by the film’s end, one almost imagines that it is this duo, along with Arian Thigpen’s delightfully awkward Erin, that are the real “children” being referred to in the movie’s title, so lovingly are their quirks, foibles and devotion for each other explored. 

Nicely, Moore also provides the expected bloodshed and several twists are sure to give audience members’ a nice sense of surprise, as well. One almost wishes the final act of the film was a bit tighter, but the penultimate moments of the movie are chillingly and haunting rendered, making this project, as a whole, an extremely memorable one. Most importantly, this fadeout also provides a prescient and poetic mediation on the current state of the world, one where hate and bigotry seem relentless and never-ending and we are all innocents in danger of losing not only are freedoms, but our very lives, as well.

https://www.facebook.com/childrenareblessed/

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Review: The Barn

Published January 26, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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Murderous ghouls in horror films can get away with almost anything…stabbings…beheadings…castrations. But stealing someone’s bag of candy? Well, then they may just have some serious retaliation on their hands. The dynamic resurrected killers in Justin Seaman’s ambitiously fun The Barn discover this the hard way when the film’s determined hero Sam and Josh, his plucky best friend, come after them to retrieve their purloined goods. Oh, and of course, to avenge their friends’ deaths and bring a halt to the dreaded Feeding which is sure to cause world doom. the-barn-2

But this visceral adventure is also a wake-up call for the youthful Sam (an effective Mitchell Musolino), who is full of holiday pranks and addicted to mindless diversions. Chastened into public service, after a joke-gone-wrong, the resourceful Sam eventually figures out a way to do his good deed while on a road trip to see his favorite metal band. Unfortunately, he and his friends stumble upon a remote barn and unleash a trio of monstrous entities that soon lay siege to their bodies and to a small town’s Halloween celebration. Therefore, it is up to Sam to embrace his imminent adulthood and try to save the day with Josh’s (the engaging Will Stout) assistance.

Adding greatly to the film’s throwback appeal, writer-director Seaman luxuriates in some memorable killers and some epic set pieces here. His terrible trio, The Boogeyman, The Candycorn Scarecrow and Hallowed Jack, drip with a satanic moodiness and are far creepier than many of the killers that populated the incredible number of imitative slashers that hit the video shelves in the mid to late 80s. A bloodbath at a local dancehall is also amazingly well choreographed by the multi-hyphenate and brings to mind projects as diverse as Brian DePalma’s Carrie and Joel Schumacher’s The Lost Boys.

the-barn-1Cameo appearances by Friday the 13th’s Ari Lehman and Linnea Quigley, America’s true goddess of horror, add to the movie’s appeal, as well. In particular, it is fun to watch Quigley, who played saucy victims in such memorable titles as Graduation Day and Night of the Demons, as she does a creative 180. Here, like in her effective turn in Full Moon’s Trophy Heads, she plays an uptight religious matron, the source of Sam’s initial downfall. With a sly sense of humor and a soft authority, she gives the production its star power – something that, given the artistry involved here, wasn’t necessarily needed for the project, but does provide a nice bonus for true fans of the genre.

The Barn (and its related goodies) is available for purchase at www.thebarnmerch.com. More information is available at https://www.facebook.com/TheBarnmovie, as well.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Music to Make Horror Movies By: Martha Reeves and the Vandellas

Published January 22, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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She was one of Motown’s reigning divas and, along with her famed backup group the Vandellas, Martha Reeves also provided one of the most prescient songs on the 1976 Carrie soundtrack.

carrie-1976-19-seductive-chrisAs the evil minded Chris (Nancy Allen) and Billy (John Travolta) cruise around, conspiring revenge and destruction, Heat Wave, one of Reeves’ most iconic numbers, plays on the car radio. With all the fiery prom night action that occurs soon after, this song proves to be a wise choice, full of dark, foreshadowing measures.

Reeves, who has also worked as a journalist and politician, still performs around the world, often in benefit concerts. More information on her astounding career and activities is available at http://www.missmarthareeves.com/.

Until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Review: The Cheerleader Trials

Published January 20, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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When the Golden Age meets the Modern Age things can get a bit bloody. Writer-director Zach Lorkiewicz knows this well and proves it with his fun and inventive new short The Cheerleader Trials.

Taking place backstage during a production of a school play, actress Greta (Garbo) is confronted by her fellow cast mates, who just happen to include Judy Garland, Anne Baxter and Marilyn Monroe. It seems someone has been murdered on stage and Greta’s costars are determined to be judge, jury and executioner…especially if it means knocking off any competition for the spotlight. cheerleader-2

Nicely, Lorkiewicz is able to create an environment that seems both to encompass the bleak emptiness of those off limits areas of professional theaters and a vast and dreamy never-world, as well. Anyone who spends their rainy afternoons luxuriating in the clipped and precise rhythms of the black and white worlds of Joan Crawford and Bette Davis should find much to enjoy here, too.

But The Cheerleader Trials also feels ultra-contemporary due to its violent atmospherics. We live in an age when retaliation is just a keyboard stroke away and our leaders seem to encourage vigilante justice. Therefore, Marilyn and crew have never felt so (bleakly) new.

Lorkiewicz will debuting The Cheerleader Trials, online, for a week, beginning on January 22nd, 2017 at

https://www.youtube.com/c/counttheclock

More information is also available on the event page listed, below:

https://www.facebook.com/events/1029321563834173/

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Review: Split

Published January 19, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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Don’t Breathe. Lights Out. Occulus. Insidious 2. The Conjuring. Those are just some of the recent horror films that, off handedly, paint their maternal characters, in lead or supporting roles, in a bad light. Perhaps, the fact that these women are failing their children due to emotional issues (Don’t Breathe, Lights Out, Insidious 2) or from a form of supernatural possession (Occulus, The Conjuring) does raise the dramatic stakes for some. But, upon reading that James McAvoy’s character in M. Night Shyamalan’s Split was suffering from dissociative identity disorder due to the severe abuse he suffered at the hands of his mother, I was truly tremulous about another round of matriarchal bashing, celluloid style.

Nicely, despite some issues in tone and pacing, Shyamalan does balance things out in this, his second low budget horror outing since his return-to-form with 2015’s highly recommended The Visit.  By the final moments he is able to show that oppression and violence, unfortunately, exist across all spectrums of parental guidance. The emotional fate of Casey, his young heroine, thoughtfully and quietly played by The Witch’s Anya Taylor-Joy, therefore resonates, profoundly, long after the director-writer provides the audience with his form of a Marvel movie nod as the film moves into its somber credit sequence.

split-annaCasey, as sharpened movie fans know, is one of three girls kidnapped by McAvoy’s Kevin, whose twenty-three personalities are beginning to shift with the more mischievous and violent of them gaining control over the others. Despite their fear, the girls find ways to fight back as Kevin’s various alters warn them about the coming of something referred to as The Beast. (In particular, it is nice to see such a strong reaction from female characters who, in another universe, would be caricaturized as insecure and indecisive victims.) Meanwhile, Karen Fletcher, Kevin’s therapist, who is working on an academic theory that her patients’ severe traumas have actually shaped them into something far outside of the ordinary, begins to suspect that something is not right with Kevin and begins to investigate.

Definitely vibing on Hitchcock by way of DePalma, everything from Spellbound to Psycho to Dressed to Kill might come to mind here, Shyamalan crafts some wonderfully tense set-ups.  Even when things go deliciously astray, he occasionally evokes the fun rhythms of DePalma’s (less well received) Raising Cain. This is in large part due to McAvoy’s enthusiastic mastery. Whether he is embodying the peculiar Hedwig, a nine year old who thinks kissing leads to pregnancy, or the primly efficient Patricia, he supplies the project with nervy energy and a strange, much needed sense of black humor.split-betty

Meanwhile, it is nice to see the divine Betty Buckley with a prominent role in a horror feature, forty years after her film debut as the sympathetic Miss Collins in Carrie. Calm yet passionate, her Dr. Fletcher often floats past in soft, curvy waves, accentuated by large necklaces and gesticulating, jeweled fingers. She is the smart, revolutionary aunt that young feminists (of every sex) would love to claim as their own. Unfortunately, Shyamalan doesn’t quite find a way to balance her scenes with those of the young women in peril. Therefore, momentum is lost and the tension flags.

Still, there are enough wildly eccentric ideas on display, including some the mental health industry might find questionable, and enough of Shyamalan’s astute artistry here to qualify this picture as a particular success. The last look at Taylor-Joy’s haunted eyes might also find a significant entryway into your soul, as well.

https://www.facebook.com/SplitMovie  https://twitter.com/splitmovie

  Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Music to Make Horror Movies By: Lisa Hartman (2)

Published January 15, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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It was a femme fatale fiesta over at the USA Network in the early 90s when their television films, draped in genre atmospherics, featured actresses such as Joanna Cassidy, Suzanne Somers, Sela Ward, Traci Lords, Crystal Bernard and Morgan Fairchild getting terrorized and fighting back against psycho stalkers, devilish tots and perverts in dark vans.

The glorious Lisa Hartman joined in with this cosmetic strewn cadre by starring in 1991’s Red Wind, a thriller in which Kris Morrow, the psychotherapist she plays, finds herself involved with a murderous, gender bending patient. lisahartmanredwindgwg24-vi

Of course, if Hartman had been sporting the hair there that she, gloriously, works in the video for I Don’t Need Love, the single released from her fourth LP Til My Heart Stops, she probably could have cut through that deadly situation in a matter of seconds.

Hartman, who is the first person to be featured twice in a row in this column (such love I have!!!), went on to record a number of hit duets with her singer husband Clint Black, and still maintains a deserved and healthy fan base at https://www.facebook.com/Lisa-Hartman-Black-182279741844146.

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Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Hell of a Gal: Pulsebeat

Published January 12, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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(Hell of a Gal explores the films of the ever luscious Euro Vixen Helga Liné.)

Mother Earth or mother of Daniel Greene…the stupendous Helga Liné is fit to play them all. Of course, in 1985’s Pulsebeat, a gloriously goofy Perfect take-off, she plays the latter with cool ease and directness. pulsebeat

Naturally, the big joke (of sorts) here is that Liné, at 53, is still gorgeous enough to be confused as the younger, muscular Greene’s ex-lover. The scriptwriters definitely spend the first half of the film leading the audience in that direction as Liné’s conniving Marlene tries to undermine the smooth and juicy Roger (Greene), her former employee, as he attempts to save his health club from certain extinction. Of course, Mama Bear is just lonely…and controlling…and wants her son at her side to help run her own oasis of perfection.

helga-2But by the time the two rival clubs are competing against each other in the film’s climatic, unconvincingly strenuous National Aerobithon, Marlene reveals a bulging pair of maternal instincts and urges her flesh and blood onto victory, despite her own business interests.

Unfortunately, sticking to the tried and true, the film, disappointingly yet unsurprisingly, does focus on Marlene’s physical upkeep with Roger, at one point, calling her “embalmed” and warning her about “her face cracking”. Granted this is a silly comedy, but these moments do stick out as another indication of how women, particularly those of a certain age, are viewed in society. Funnily, here, it almost comes off as ironic, as everyone involved treats Roger’s almost freakishly large muscles and slavish devotion to his body as a normal state of being while a middle aged woman’s attempts to grow older, gracefully, are treated with contempt. Thankfully, Liné, like every woman of grace and power, wears the insults well.helga-1

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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Music to Make Horror Movies By: Lisa Hartman

Published January 9, 2017 by biggayhorrorfan

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She should have been cowering from that electricity enhanced alien in Not of this World (1991), but instead the exquisite Lisa Hartman decided she would rather be Hiding From Love as witnessed by her 1982 album Letterock, a recording that was even rereleased as a self titled offering, later in the decade, due to her popularity on the nighttime soap opera Knots Landing. MBDDEBL EC003

Hartman, who also provided a killer surprise in Wes Craven’s Deadly Blessing (1981), even performed that popular Bryan Adams tune on an episode of Solid Gold.

Unfortunately, Letterock (and its subsequent reiteration) never really took off with the public. Interestingly, it is one of the perkiest female rock records of that era with some fun new wave and pop numbers and a running time that passes by brightly. It also qualifies as very ahead of its time. The song Johnny’s Always On My Mind details the female narrator’s attempts to steal a man away from his boyfriend –   a bold concept even in today’s music world, let alone in the period of time when it was actually released.

So, bravo, Goddess Hartman….

….and until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

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