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Blood Stains on Their Hands: The Killer Queens of Top 40 By Owen Keehnen

Published July 21, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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In my formative years I always went to sleep with my radio on, listening to Top 40 music on WROK in Rockford, and sometimes WLS in Chicago.

On a recent road trip I began thinking about these catchy tunes of my youth and after further research was startled to realize that in the two year stretch of 1973-1974 the pop charts were dominated by a plethora of strange and tragic tales which included Seasons in the Sun; Billy, Don’t Be a Hero; Bad Bad, Leroy Brown; The Night Chicago Died; and I Shot the Sheriff, – all #1 songs! A jaunty melody combined with a tragic scenario was a winning combo in that two year window.

During that same 1973-1974 stretch I was especially intrigued with a sub-genre in this oddly violent period of bubblegum pop with the appearances of not one, not two, but three murderess ballads that went to #1 on the Billboard Top 40 charts.

Vicki_Lawrence-The_Night_The_Lights_Went_Out_In_Georgia_The_Complete_Bell_Recordings-CdIn April 1973 the bayou ballad The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia was the #1 song in the country. In her only top 40 hit, impish Vicki Lawrence sings in hushed tones (one small step away from auto-tune) about her brother, his cheatin’ wife, Andy, and “that Amos boy Seth.” In just 3:40 the listener is treated to a tale of infidelity, murder, false arrest, creeping through the backwoods quiet as a mouse, Andy lying on the floor in a puddle of blood, tiny footprints, a hanging, and a judge in the town with blood stains on his hands. Whew! In the final confessional stanza the formerly whispery heroine boldly proclaims that the body of her sister-in-law will never be found and that “little sister don’t miss when she aims her gun,” her proclamation followed by a sassy guitar riff as if saying “Yeah, I did it … and I got away with it too.”cher-dark-lady-mca-4

As fate would have it, Cher turned down the opportunity to record The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia… actually Sonny turned it down “for her.” Cher topped the charts in 1972 with the bad girl ballad Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves and the following year with Half Breed (“she’s no good they warned”). She had a #1 song again in March 1974 with Dark Lady. In her low-vibrato Cher croons the slightly sinister sounding ballad of a double murdering heroine driven to blind jealousy when she visits “the fortune queen of New Orleans” who she finds “brushing her cat in her black limousine.” Hmm. The protagonist follows Dark Lady back to her place for a reading. After dealing two cards, a queen and a three, Dark Lady turns up a two eyed Jack and warns our heroine of her man’s infidelity. She tells her to leave this place and forget she ever saw her face. When the vengeful miss recognizes Dark Lady’s strange (aka skanky) perfume she returns (in a Bob Mackie) and catches the seer (obviously not a very gifted one) laughing and kissing her lover. That is, until they saw the gun in her hand. Nobody does that to our Cheroine. Dark Lady will never turn a card up anymore. Bang bang she shot them down.

helen-reddy-2And lastly, after topping the charts with the female empowerment ballad I Am Woman in 1972, Helen Reddy quickly seemed to backpedal into murkier waters. Her next #1 song was Delta Dawn in 1973, a tale of male rejection and subsequent insanity, and that was followed by the lesser 1973 sociopath hit Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress). However, in December 1974 Helen Reddy outdid herself with the crazy pop song and released the #1 WTF is going on hit, Angie Baby, in which the (yes, sociopathic) title character, a young girl who lives for her radio, kills a neighbor boy with evil on his mind. (‘Cause he’s been peeking in Angie’s room at night through her window blind.”) The song isn’t clear about what goes on, so a simple synopsis of the crime is tricky and open to interpretation. The stanza reads: “When he walks in the room, he feels confused Like he’s walked into a play And the music’s so loud it spins him around ‘Til his soul has lost it’s way And as she turns the volume down He’s getting smaller with the sound It seems to pull him off the ground Toward the radio he’s bound never to be found.” Umm. Death by volume control? Murder by metaphor? “It’s so nice to be insane, no one asks you to explain, radio by your side Angie Baby.” It’s all poetic license I suppose. Besides, during this stretch in pop music there was no need for lyrics to really make sense when the melody was catchy enough.helen-reddy-angie-baby

The reign of mayhem on the top 40 charts seemed to end as abruptly as it began. Everything began to change in 1975. That was the year The Captain and Tennille, Barry Manilow, the emergence of disco, and The Bee Gees reborn. The #1 songs were suddenly very different. Olivia Newton John was in her Have You Never Been Mellow phase, John Denver was singing Thank God I’m a Country Boy, and Neil Sedaka was back with Laughter in the Rain. Prostitution was as wild as the #1 songs got that year, but at least there were two of them – Lady Marmalade and Island Girl.

However, consider the possibility that although this violent and murderous phase of pop music vanished after only two years, perhaps this period planted some seeds. Is it mere coincidence that the 8-16 year olds who were weaned on pop music during 1973-74 were also the demographic who brought back horror entertainment in a big way with the bloodier/nastier/crazier slasher movement which dominated cinemas in the late 1970s/early 1980s? Things like this make me curious. Is it a matter of chance or a continuum? Like Dark Lady’s cards, the charts don’t lie. – Owen Keehnen

Grand thanks to Owen for writing such an amazing first guest column for Big Gay Horror Fan (www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan). Be sure to follow him at:

Facebook: OwenKeehnen

Twitter: @OwenKeehnen

Defending Jaws 4: The Revenge!

Published July 19, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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Frequently, I have been referred to as all wet! While this may certainly be true in some cases, it does not apply when considering the fact that I believe the widely reviled Jaws 4: The Revenge is actually a pretty fun, vaguely feminist romp.

Recently, the distinguished gents of Astro Radio Z (including jocular host Derrick Carey) took a moment to examine their favorite films (including such titles as Firewalker, Staying Alive and Megaforce) that, currently, have a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

You can hear all about them and discover why I think Jaws 4: The Revenge is a perfect 50% at the link, below:

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Bad CGI Fridays: 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007)

Published July 18, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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If television action mainstay Lorenzo Lamas has made a boring film (and, naturally, I’m not saying he has) – then 2007’s 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea would certainly qualify for that honor.

30000 posterFeaturing lots of footage of Lamas and the actors playing his crew wandering around the floors of the ocean depths (and not much else), 30,000 does feature a couple of sequences involving a very unnatural looking squid.30000 2

In fact, the squid’s second appearance is almost laughable – coming off as almost a mechanical style comic book design.

Oh, well. Where’s Stan Lee when you need him?

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

G-FEST 2014: Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion

Published July 17, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

gamera poster
A recent showing of Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion (1996) at G-FEST 2014 in Rosemont, IL proved that while Americanized dubbing may occasionally miss the mark, it can often produce truly hilarious results. (Especially, if like me, your sense of humor hasn’t regressed much beyond the 5th grade!)

This tale of everyone’s favorite avenging turtle facing down sprawling tentacle creatures, that just happen to be waging mass destruction for a huge alien invader, featured such comical readings as:

“The second it flowered, we were completely helpless!”

“We cannot afford another Sendai!”

“He’s going straight for the Big One!”gamera watching

“Gamera is alive. He will come back for us. Gamera will not let the Legion win!”

“I don’t have time to argue with you! Give me every ounce of your power!”

“The Big One is right on top of us”

gamera“The Big One has something new up its sleeve!”

“It’s the Big One! He made it past the last barricade!”

Still hurting from that last one… and with hopes that you brought your own double entendres (because mine are all used up), Big Gay Horror Fan!

Still giddy from Gamera!

Still giddy from Gamera!


PS: G-FEST is held every July in Rosemont, IL. For more information, take a look at http://www.gfan.com.

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Emi Gennis: Sweet Princess of Unknown Origins

Published July 16, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

unknown origins

Recently, I was truly lucky to get a chance to chat with adorably talented editor/comic creator Emi Gennis about Unknown Origins and Untimely Ends, the comic book anthology she edited featuring macabre true life stories and unending crime mysteries.

Gennis has promised more scintillating horror flecked work in her future. So, be sure to check out http://www.emigennis.com and http://www.hicandhoc.com.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

The Backside of Horror: Taylor Lacher, “Devil Times Five” (1974)

Published July 15, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

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Let’s face it, half the fun of horror and exploitation is seeing some hot bodies frolicking around in the buff. And while I worship the female form, I believe exploitation definitely veers into the exploitive when only gorgeous women are on display while their male counterparts remain chastely buttoned up. Therefore, The Backside of Horror salutes the filmmakers and actors whom even up the score a bit by showing us instances of hot and juicy male flesh in their bloody celluloid fantasies.

geneSome guys don’t get a break. Even though beefy Rick (played by 70s television perennial Taylor Lacher) turns down the advances of the saucy Lovely (Carolyn Stellar) in the twisted 70s drive-in feature Devil Times Five, he still gets whacked by a group of sadistic children.

Maybe that’s because he does give us a view of his meaty man-globes – another terror film no-no!gene half butt

In an interesting side-note, Stellar is the mother of (future teen idol) Leif Garrett and (My Three Son‘s cutie) Dawn Lyn who play two of the unrepentant tots who eviscerate a house full of whining, drinking, back-stabbing adults in this truly trashy, semi-classic.

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Music to Make Horror Movies By: Vicki Lawrence, “The Night That The Lights Went Out in Georgia”

Published July 13, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

vickiyoung2
The late 60s and early 70s were the hallowed bastion of the story song. Tales such as Ode to Billy Joe, Little Green Apples and Wildfire touched many a poetic heart. But, perhaps, none were as spooky and sensually kinky as Vicki Lawrence’s take on Bobby Russell’s The Night That The Lights Went Out in Georgia. This oddly perverted tale of a vengeful sister who murders her brother’s wife and the man she was cheating on him with (now that’s familial loyalty!) was made even more popular in the 90s with Reba McEntire’s take. (In fact, McEntire’s version was released exactly 20 years after Lawrence’s.) But there is no comparison to the dark vibes that producer Snuff Garrett supplied for Lawrence’s original attack.

A movie based on the song (with Tanya Tucker doing a growly take on the number), featuring Kristy McNichol, was also released in the early 80s. But those sexy video thrillers starring such celluloid icons as Tracy Scoggins, Shannon Tweed and Shannon Whirry have more in common with the seemingly innocent yet sultry mood provided Lawrence than that attempt to cash in on McNichol’s short lived singing career.
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Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Dys- Spreads!

Published July 12, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

dys-
A crazy rash of mosquito bites has me feeling itchy all over – and pretty sure something unworldly is attacking my body. I’ve tried to shrug it off, but the potent new trailer for Maude Michaud’s upcoming Dys- has me wondering if I might have reason to fear.

A story of what happens when an estranged couple enters lockdown to escape a mysterious virus, Dys- is getting a lot of important buzz and is now entering the festival circuit. With appearances by genre regulars like Lynn Lowry and Shannon Lark, this infectious thriller is sure to spread like wildfire!

You can check out the official trailer at:

You can keep updated on the film’s progress at https://www.facebook.com/homeiswherethehurtis, as well.

Until the next time, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Bad CGI Friday’s: Super Eruption (2011)

Published July 11, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

super-eruption
To quote an old Saturday Night Live Skit: “With a name like Super Eruption, it has to be good jam!”

Fake lava still bad lava!

Fake lava still bad lava!

Actually, with a name like Super Eruption it has to be a cheesy SyFy flick about a hunky park ranger (Richard Burgi) and a sexy scientist (Juliet Aubrey) fighting to save lives as a dormant volcano under Yellowstone National Park fatally explodes.

Besides lots of computer generated lava and ash, this exploding-ly awesome epic even features what looks like a doll stand-in for Burgi as he parachutes down into a smoldering site.

Is that a doll or are you...

Is that a doll or are you…

Even better, perhaps, may be the weird time travel subplot that definitely gives this quick and painless effort a fiery sense of odd originality.

For the truly sophisticated, though? Maybe not! Oh, well…

"The future's so bright..." Not!

“The future’s so bright…” Not!

Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan

Terror in the Aisles Presents Short Cuts!

Published July 11, 2014 by biggayhorrorfan

David Schmidt's Screams on Planet Zero!

David Schmidt’s Screams on Planet Zero!


Want better news than Yvette Mimieux and Bo Svenson reuniting for a Snowbeast sequel?!? (Which, unfortunately, isn’t happening, BTW!)

Well, how about Terror in the Aisles highlighting a bunch of awesome horror shorts from a bevy of truly talented Midwestern terror filmmakers? Sound good? Then look no further than Terror in the Aisles Presents Short Cuts on this Saturday evening, 7/12/2014, at the historic Davis Theater in Chicago. Featuring a wide variety of scary science fiction, trippy fright comedy and previews of upcoming projects (along with appearances from the talent involved), this is an event not to be missed.

..and yours truly, Big Gay Horror Fan, will be hosting this super cool, totally original, once in a lifetime event! So, get out your vinyl space suits and check out https://www.facebook.com/events/652996118088201/ for more information!

Until we meet, face to face, SWEET love and pink GRUE! – Big Gay Horror Fan!

http://www.facebook.com/biggayhorrorfan